WHEN YOU THINK YOU ARE BROKEN•□

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So she had big dreams mehn, from the age of 20 she knew exactly what she wanted and
how to get about actualising it. She found God which helped in setting things into motion. He sure made things easier.
Her first heart break was actually at the age of 19 just before she found God who unknown to her was the true definition of love.
Recalling the first time she met ochuko, he wasnt her type, and she couldn’t even see herself dating him. They became friends easily,  they would gist and laugh and tease for hours which to her seemed like minutes. To his defense he never hid himself from her, his true colors was all he offered.   slowly, gradually unknown to her she was sliping, gradually letting down her guard.

Months into their friendship,  she began to feel a sense of attachment, she would go over to his place and practically spend all d better part of her day with him.

Like a blow it dawned on her that she had developed feelings for him, now looking back she knew it was just a crush.  He was actually the first guy she had  feelings for. She wasn’t the type who dated in high school,  but don’t get me wrong she had numerous toasters as she was in college but there was just something about ochuko that made her feel she was inlove.

Feeliny all excited about the tingling feeling she had never felt before, it felt thrilling and she got so carried away that she had to open up to him about what she felt,  thinking he would feel the same way or ask her out..

Ooh well, he didnt say he loved her, but sure said he liked her but to her that was a start. It never occured to her that you can actually like your mechanic or friend without wanting to be involved emotionally.

Anyways they  grew closer, he would go on walks wit her, she would go over to his place and he would stop over at hers too. Mind you he never actually asked her out, it was more implied than express.

She could sense he really didnt belong to her. She would see him with one girl or the other.  He actually never showed her to his friends or took her out or walked with her in public places.

She knew this was not how dating should be. .
She wanted to confront him but she was scared of being rejected and when she finally did, it will turn to a fight of which she always ended up the bad person. After such fights he would refuse to talk to her for weeks until she came to beg.

Then sex became an issue, though she was not born again, call her old fashioned but she wanted to wait

Ooh but he wouldn’t hear of such, and because she obviously cared for him more than he did her, she was willing to compromise just a little bit to please him.

So she allowed him to have his way but she had to draw the line when it came down to sex..

For a while that kept him off her back..but it sure didnt make him respect her more, it only made him treat her however he pleased. Even where his friends where he would insist on touching her in inappropriate places and this gradually reduced herself esteem..she knew he had no right to treat her like this but how could she leave him she just didn’t have the will power..

Anywayz the straw that broke the camels back was when he eventually insisted on having sex wit her.  It was a friday night, he came over to her place and convinced her to spend the night at his place.  Voice of reason screamed in her head that this would amount to no good but it seemed like her legs had a mind of their own

She eventually followed him to his place where he stayed in a self contain apartment with a friend. .they both gisted for a long time after which she slept off with a sign of relief. .

She could feel his hands on her body, opening her eyes she could see it in his eyes…it really was gonna happen this night right there with his friend in the room on the same bed. ..

Ofcourse she let him kiss her this blog is pg 13 so am just gonna say and do other things but she still tried to keep her legs shut..

After awhile she found herself standing, he had managed to get her up nd was leading her to a wooden table close to the wall…

In her mind she thanked her stars the lights were off, still wondering why he was leading her to the table. He finally got her on the table right there he was willing to sleep with her on a wooden uncomfortable table like some cheap girl he picked frm the street while his friend was there. .

Tears began running down her cheeks as he tried nd tried, she just laid there ashamed,  bruised, broken.  While she recollected the times they were actually just friends how could he not remember all those times and treat her better or had he been pretending?

10 mins had passed,  she came back to reality when she felt his weight off her..he had obviously given up. Looking at him sweating as if he had just finished a marraton, she was all too grateful to God that he hadn’t succeeded.she couldn’t imagine losing her virginity to such a person.

Covering her self,  she went to a side of the bed and slept..the next morning with heads bowed and with the little dignity she had left she raced out of his house.

To be continued….

Stay Beautiful Lovelies</strong

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